“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”
Steve Marboli

You know that feeling when your days zip past, you have so much to do and you wonder how you got to the end of your week. Then your weekend is also busy and the next week has started. That isn’t being in control of your life. All you are doing is allowing outer forces control you.

Being in control

So what does being in control look like? It is different for everyone, of course. However, there are certain things we can all do that brings control back into our lives.

  1. Learn to say no
    That is such a big one – being able to say no. In fact over time as I learnt to say no to others, meant I was saying yes to myself. And that felt fantastic. It is about how you feel about yourself. It is a matter of your self-value. To see how valuing yourself changes your life, continue here.
  2. Take time out for yourself
    The more time I take for myself, the more I have found that I am in control of my life as I am doing things that I want to do as well as things I need to. It is creating harmony in your life. And having fun, adventure, trying new things, doing things in a different way. All these things start to free you up and get you out of the stranglehold of feeling the pressing need of having to do. That often means you are coming from a base of fear rather than faith and love. And it wasn’t always like that for me. Read more here.
  3. Embrace life
    Life is to be enjoyed. As the saying goes: what you resist persists. Do you want a sense of freedom in your life? If so, it is time to start making changes, even incremental ones. Even those can make a huge difference. It is about how you want to embrace life and create a new path for yourself. And thus be in control of your precious time.
  4. Start to yes to life and whatever it presents
    When you accept what life presents to you, you begin to experience life in a whole new way. Remember, it isn’t the experience itself that causes you pain and suffering. It is the resistance to the experience. It is so much easier to distract ourselves from pain and hurt in whichever way we can. And that is when we also lose being in control. And you will always find moments of joy, even in those darkest moments.
  5. Begin to appreciate twists and turns in your life
    There are always going to be highs and lows in life. And it is how you handle them. You can view them as a negative and allow them to drag you down. Or you can accept that is what life is giving you right at this point in time and work through it. Easier said than done, I know. Here is my experience when I felt I had lost control of my life and fear had kicked in. And how I used meditation and other skills to support me in embracing and accepting this life-changing event.

It takes time to change your way of thinking and habits. And it is doable once you make up your mind that you want change in your life. There are so many ways you can do this. However, I will focus on I have found has helped me.

what to do to be in control of your life

What I find helps is being present in the moment. When I remember to bring my scattered thoughts and emotions back into the moment, I gain control over what is happening. Over the years I have found that when you are distracted and fragmented, you spin out of control. It is so much harder to keep a reign on what is happening. You keep spinning and spinning. Life takes you where you don’t want to go. As mentioned earlier, you live from a space of fear and anxiety, rather than trust and faith.

No, you can’t control everything in life as stuff happens. However, you can control how you respond, how you feel, and how you think. That takes time as changing lifelong ways of being means becoming aware of yourself and how you tick. That means at times feeling uncomfortable, awkward, embarrassed, hurt, angry, frightened, and anxious. It is so much easier to run away and hide from all this negativity and discomfort. However, it will keep coming back to bite you.

So, why not face what life is throwing at you now knowing that you will be changing your life forever to lead it that way you want? Liberating, I can tell you.

The way I have found best to change my life is meditation, not just mindfulness. Being mindful and present helps me stay in the moment and experience life to its fullest. However, when I sit in stillness with no distractions, other than my thoughts, I truly begin to connect to my inner wisdom and to my essence.

Meditation is a powerful way to be in control of your life

When you sit quietly, you begin to connect to your Self. This to me is the most one important one of all as I wrote in a previous blog on 8 Powerful Benefits of Stillness. When you sit quietly you begin to get a sense of who you are.  You begin to understand not only who you are, why, and what you can do about it. It gives you a chance to see what you need to let go of to be who you want to be. Slowly you begin to connect to your true self as you step away from your past and its hold on you creating a sense of freedom, love, and joy.

You begin to see and feel your inner strength. Faith in yourself and life replaces fear. This, in turn, creates confidence, trust and belief in yourself in all that you do. You are able to step out and be adventurous. And above all be who you want to be. (listen to this finding your stillness guided meditation)

Watch how you begin to view life differently – full of joy, love, fun with an I can do attitude. Small things will change initially giving you the courage to step out even further. Yes, there will be setbacks. However, you now know how to manage them. Life doesn’t feel so hard. You don’t feel so despondent, tired and fed back. There is a spring in each step you take as you gain more control in your life.

If you are unsure how to go about doing this, sign up for my Unfold Your Meditation online course. Through a series of 8 lessons, you will be given an understanding of what meditation and mindfulness are all about. You will be shown the concepts of meditation and mindfulness and why they work. The course shows you how to create stillness within and be mindful in all that you do. It shows you how your thinking dictates your life and how to change that and how connecting to your breath connects you to you. As importantly, you will discover how to win back time to feel calm and more at ease in your day. And you will begin to feel more energised and less exhausted. The result will be that you will feel so much happier in your life and have more fun with your family and friends.

And this will be just the beginning. Allow me to show you how easily it can be done. Sign up now to change your life to one of mindfulness.

In the meantime, enjoy listening to this guided meditation to open you to taking control of your life.

Love this post? Or know someone who needs to read this? Please share away! I would also love to hear what it is you want to start creating and haven’t yet. Leave me a comment below ♥

Photo courtesy of Why Creations

meet chantal

Chantal Vanderhaeghen is an intuitive guide, small business owner, creator of an international skincare brand, passionate philanthropist and meditation, reiki, tapping and mindfulness teacher. She works with women ready to make changes, shatters perceptions of beauty and perfection, and inspires people ready to become mindful entrepreneurs. She lives with her talented man in the Perth Hills and can be found online at www.unfoldyoufreedom.com.au



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