a bowl of soup shows you care
We all know someone who goes through tough times feeling vulnerable, including ourselves. Vulnerability can be so difficult to talk about with others because you feel so vulnerable. That is the whole irony. It takes courage to reach out to be held in that most precious space.
Offering a bowl of soup when someone is feeling vulnerable, literally and figuratively, shows you care. You may not understand what they are going through. However, you care enough to show you are there. It is so easy to stay away from someone in a crisis as it can be confrontational. It is the unknown that we shy away from and makes us feel unsure as what to do.
definition of vulnerability
I love this definition of vulnerability by Brene Brown: “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
It is important that we start to talk and share. To feel safe when we do so. I know for me as I am going through the ups and downs of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome) I want my friends and family to be there for me offering me a bowl of soup. Some can. Some can’t. And it is accepting that. Tough to do so when you are in emotional pain. It is realising that others can also be triggered when they don’t want to be. It is easier to turn away and justify to ourselves why we do so: too busy, too much on, etc. And it is meant to assuage the guilt we feel. And more often than not, it doesn’t.
Being around a vulnerable person is not easy, as they can swing from courage, strength and the joys of life, to feeling low and distressed overnight. It is unnerving for all involved. This is what can happen to me. On one level I know it is irrational. It is not all of me. However, when I am vulnerable, all rationality goes out the window and I do feel it is all of me. Emotions rule – being teary, irritable, snappy, dull, and on edge. The world is not a safe place to be in. Everything gets magnified. (I am feeling vulnerable as I write this).
Finding harmony and safety
When you find someone who can hold you in a loving and kind space, can make such a difference. They are present with a listening ear, an open heart and mind. They don’t need to understand where you are at or give you advice. It is about acknowledging you and validating your experience right at that moment. We are our own worst critiques, so it is important not to judge the other. Acceptance and non-judgment are the keys to creating a sense of safety, love and that bowl of soup – nourishing soul food.
Share our stories
Let’s turn towards each other. Hold out our hands. Talk. Cry. Laugh. Be together. Raw. Vulnerable. That creates an amazing space of love, acceptance, courage, strength, validation, and togetherness for us all.
Namaste from my place of vulnerability to your space of vulnerability.
Chantal Vanderhaeghen is an intuitive guide, small business owner, creator of an international skincare brand, passionate philanthropist and meditation, reiki, tapping and mindfulness teacher. She works with women ready to make changes, shatters perceptions of beauty and perfection, and inspires people ready to become mindful entrepreneurs. She lives with her talented man in the Perth Hills and can be found online at www.unfoldyoufreedom.com.au
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