why your voice is important
This can be so challenging for a lot of us. We have been more often than not brought up not to have the courage to speak up or speak out. Seen and not heard. And that was the case for me. So I learnt to get heard by being aggressive in my tone of voice and at times words. Not the best way to get what you want or be heard, I can tell you.
It has taken me years to get the courage and ‘perfect’ the skill of becoming assertive. This meant looking at how I reacted to people and situations, what words I used, the tone of my voice and my body language. Painful at times. It is not easy to admit that you play a role in an interaction when you feel it is not your fault. What does this scream out at you? Victim, not being accountable for your own actions, blaming other, etc.
what can help you find your voice
This is why I have found journaling to be so useful. It is a place where I can safely express how I really feel, that is to get the emotion out, to get the negativity out, and to do a dump. Then I take some time out and go back to it to reread it to see how it is feeling now. Based on that I can pick out what the most important message is I want to get across without blaming, shaming or attacking. This way I got the courage to be responsive and accountable and not reactive and blaming.
I then write the letter or talk accordingly using what I see, how I feel, looking at the behaviours, not the people involved, including myself and the outcome I would like and how could it be resolved. This is a very simple version of it, as you can add a lot more to it. And the big takeaway I initially got from doing this was to give the ‘I’ messages and how you feel. It changed my communication dramatically.
Other things I had to deal with was my fear of authority, my lack of self-confidence and not being able to stand up for myself. That is for another time.
Get your journal out
In the meantime, get your journal out, write, express yourself on paper and see what happens. If you have never used a journal or to get you started again, click on the link to purchase your gorgeous eBook which takes you through a simple to follow process where I will show you how to effectively journal to find out why your voice is important.
Chantal Vanderhaeghen is an intuitive guide, small business owner, creator of an international skincare brand, passionate philanthropist and meditation, reiki, tapping and mindfulness teacher. She works with women ready to make changes, shatters perceptions of beauty and perfection, and inspires people ready to become mindful entrepreneurs. She lives with her talented man in the Perth Hills and can be found online at www.unfoldyoufreedom.com.au
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