Dealing with emotional discomfort is one of the most difficult things to do in our lives. This is why so many of us move away from pain with all sorts of distractions.
dealing with emotional discomfort
It takes courage to be able to sit with any discomfort, whether that be physical or emotional pain. When you have been hurt to the core, all you want to do is curl up and hide. Or pretend they don’t exist. It is easier to ignore or dismiss them. You will do anything to minimise the emotional discomfort you are feeling to get rid of them.
It can create incredible turbulence within that needs to be covered at all costs – not only from yourself but also from the world. What to do? It is so easy to search for distractions to move you away. It may be there is the need to reach for that extra glass of alcohol, spend too much time on social media, use drugs, eat more, shop excessively, or talk incessantly. Anything to numb and suppress the pain. At first, this feels great. There is a sense of pleasure and giddiness that comes with this. However, it doesn’t fill the void. All that is happening is the hurt and pain is being amplified.
the costs of moving away from emotional discomfort
Having experienced emotional pain for many years, I can now see the cost it had on my life. I was forever searching for something to remove my pain. No matter, what I did, it hung in there with me. It wasn’t going anywhere fast. It drove me to distraction making me feel ashamed, uncomfortable in my own skin, worthless, feelings of guilt because I couldn’t understand what was happening.
My life was a misery forever doing to keep me running away. No chance of me being free and released. The pain came with me no matter what I did and where I went. In fact, it caused unnecessary extra pain.
Because my source of comfort was unobvious, it took me a long time to realise what I did to numb myself – at the moment checking Facebook as I realised that this writing is taking on a life of its own making me feel uncomfortable. Has my discomfort left me? No, it is still with me. What to do?
sitting quietly with yourself
It takes time to sit quietly and begin to unravel what is really going on within. More often than not it is easier to remain frozen and in denial. You may touch the surface to pretend to yourself that you are doing something. But all you are really doing is putting a band-aid on. You are thinking about what is going on, not yet feeling and experiencing your pain.
Dealing with emotional discomfort is painful. It takes courage to get started. It also takes courage to stay on the path once you have started. At times, you can’t do it alone and you need to seek professional guidance because it is too big.
And you can also connect to yourself through mindfulness and meditation. I found this to be a saviour in my life. At first, I was too restless to sit, let alone sit with myself in stillness. It took immense effort to find my rhythm in my everyday life. Yet, I hung in there as I knew that something had to change. My life wasn’t what I wanted it to be – full of love, joy, happiness, confidence, beauty, friendship and adventure.
staying with the emotional discomfort
What I realised was that for me to heal at a deeper level, I needed to stay with the pain in all its glory. Not fun, I can tell, you right now. Why I am sharing this with you is to encourage to take that step of healing your wounds in whichever way that suits you.
It is important to reach out and get support without judgement of yourself or others. Slowly you begin to unravel what is going on within. You sit and begin to observe your emotions, what triggers them and where these triggers come from. As you go through this you begin to be able to validate your emotions and yourself. This may not feel comfortable, particularly when you are validating the negative parts of you. However, this is so freeing and liberating – coming to the realisation that you are the sum of all parts. As Aristotle stated: The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
Dealing with emotional discomfort is rewarding and releasing. There is a new zest for life. You feel compassion, forgiveness and love for yourself and others. You loosen your grip on your controlled life. Life becomes joyful, fun, and effortless. You feel alive and confident, beautiful and strong. Yes, there will still be emotional discomfort. However, now you know how to stay with it, deal with it and let it go so much quicker. Life becomes more and more harmonious and pleasurable. This is something we all want in our lives.
To get you started or further on your path, you may like to take the time to listen to this short guided meditation. If you want to delve deeper into what is holding you back from the freedom of leading the life you want, check out what services I offer to support you in your journey.
From my free soul to your free soul.
Chantal Vanderhaeghen is an intuitive guide, small business owner, creator of an international skincare brand, passionate philanthropist and meditation, reiki, tapping and mindfulness teacher. She works with women ready to make changes, shatters perceptions of beauty and perfection, and inspires people ready to become mindful entrepreneurs. She lives with her talented man in the Perth Hills and can be found online at www.unfoldyoufreedom.com.au
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