Now that is the $60,000 question. It took me a long time to realise that unless I believed the positive affirmations I was constantly saying to myself and writing down, they didn’t work. What do I mean by that?
why don’t positive affirmations always work?
It is so easy to be told that all you need to do is:
- work out a positive affirmation for whatever it is you need positivity on
- write them down
- make them pretty if you want
- plaster them all over the place as constant reminders
- keep repeating them over and over again
- and change will miraculously happen
Somehow this is meant to work. I began to wonder what I was doing wrong. This, of course, played into my being a failure, not getting it right and not being good enough. My positive affirmations simply weren’t working me and a waste of time. I felt frustrated and in the end distressed. I was throwing my arms in the air with mini-tantrums happening in the quiet of my bathroom. Dramatic, yes. Helpful, no. For a while there, I lost faith in myself and my ability to do this.
Why, oh, why, wasn’t this working for me. Does this resonate with you? Then I listened to an interview explaining why positive affirmations don’t work this way. Relief! It all began to make sense. So I have looked into this further and it has changed my view on affirmations. And now they work, most of the time. If they don’t, it is because I don’t believe it and feel it in body, mind, and soul.
when do positive affirmations work?
When you believe in them. And feel them right to your core. You have to believe and feel your affirmation. Yes, when you have first created your affirmation, made it pretty and got yourself all excited about it, you feel on top of the world. This is it. This is going to change my life. Then after a few days, you come off your high and wonder why. I have worked with the prescribed formula and what I have been told. So why isn’t it happening?
Because, in effect, you are telling yourself a lie. Sounds harsh, I know. At first, I was so taken aback when someone pointed this out to me. And this doesn’t lead to the transformation you want. Nothing is that easy. If it was we would have a very positive and happy world.
It takes time. You don’t just wake up and you will be this amazingly positive person. As Oprah says: ‘what you believe has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for. You become what you believe‘. For me affirmations were wishes. What I hoped for. Not what I believed and felt in my inner being. It was lip service. I was saying these scripted words without owning them. And they were scripted. Not from my heart. I didn’t believe them. So my positive always remained negative in the long run. And I gave my inner critic even more ammunition than it already had to fire at me.
how do you change from negative to positive?
You need to change your underlying belief system. What I had to do was learn what was the underlying issue. And then unlearn it. This takes time and courage. It is about having faith in yourself to get started, even if you can’t see the end result. Love this from Martin Luther King: ‘faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase’.
It is about taking that initial step to wanting to change. To opening the space within to allow yourself to connect to what is positive for you. Not anyone else. Writing your own scripts that match your deep inner beliefs. And at the same time, weeding out are the beliefs you are currently holding that stop you from feeling positive about yourself.
One way of starting is by sitting quietly with a journal and connecting to what you are feeling when you script your positive affirmation. Does it ring true? Does it feel right? Do you connect to it at that deep inner level? If not, what is coming up for you? Keep writing it all down. And this way you can become familiar with your inner critic to be able to make the changes you want. Your truth will begin to prevail. Remember, that truth will always set you free.
Another is to tap. I love tapping as it takes me to a deeper level. It gets to the nuts and bolts of the issue. Meditation helps me work it out. And tapping helps me release at that DNA level. A place where you don’t know what you are still holding on to, or that you even are.
And be prepared. It can bring up emotional discomfort. Stay with it. For you to be released, you need to let it go once and for all. It is so easy to move away from pain and stay with the status quo. However, this is not going to get those positive affirmations happening the way you want them to. I have written more on this in my blog ‘How to deal with emotional discomfort‘.
create a daily ritual
A lovely way to support yourself is by creating a daily ritual of connecting to your Soul. I love doing this and I use a beautiful journal and colourful pens. Now I have written a blog on how to this to set you up for your day. Do have a read as it will give you ideas on how to apply this to your affirmations. Keep it simple to start with. In my next blog, I will go into more detail on the process and how to create a positive affirmation.
Take time to digest this information. See what resonates with you and what doesn’t. Be truthful with yourself as you know what is best for you. And get started.
If you needing a helping hand to help you get onto that first step, I can guide you to connecting to that amazing place where you know who you are and have lost sight of. It can feel scary to start with. However, I want you to stop feeling the way you do. There is so much more to life than that. I felt resigned for too many years which I now regret. I want to show you to how you can walk through your own journey combing my experience, learning and skills. Here is the link to my Unfold With Me page showing you the different ways you can work with me.
Love this post? Or know someone who needs to read this? Please share away! I would also love to hear what positive affirmations you are beginning to create and believe. Leave me a comment below ♥
Chantal Vanderhaeghen is an intuitive guide, small business owner, creator of an international skincare brand, passionate philanthropist and meditation, reiki, tapping and mindfulness teacher. She works with women ready to make changes, shatters perceptions of beauty and perfection, and inspires people ready to become mindful entrepreneurs. She lives with her talented man in the Perth Hills and can be found online at www.unfoldyoufreedom.com.au
how you can work with me