Over dwelling: the bane of our lives
Over dwelling on stuff seems to have become our favourite pastime. We more often than not do this out of our awareness as it has become habitual. How do we overcome this habit of dwelling, is the question?
by creating awareness
Take time each day to pause and clear your minds of all your unnecessary thoughts. You will be surprised how much rent space you give these thoughts. ‘Take Ten‘ each and every day. That could be ten minutes, 10 seconds or ten breaths. If that feels too much to start with ‘take 5’. You will notice a change in no time.
When you over dwell, you also overthink. You are in the past and in the future, rarely in the now. It creates worry and anxiety, guilt and exhaustion. You are all over the place without a rudder. When you finally stop, it is like a light bulb goes off. You become aware of your train of thoughts and where they end up. Nowhere near from where they started. Your emotions get in the way, your history and past experiences. It is amazing what story you can conjure up from just one simple thought.
stop the merry-go-round
The irony is more you dwell on an issue, the less likely you will be able to resolve it. You are too caught up in the emotion and drama of it all. In fact, it can paralyze you and stop you from moving on and leading a joyful and fulfilling life. All you want to do is keeping dwelling and talking about it to friends who will still listen. It is time to get off your own merry-go-round and do something about it. And it can be a painful realisation. Well, that has been my experience. I was a great talker going round and round in circles getting nowhere. Looking back now it was tedious and boring, not only for myself but for my long-suffering friends. Now, what to do?
tips on what to do
This is what has worked for me over a period of time:
- Resist the need to constantly talk about whatever is on your mind. This will give it less power and dominance in your life.
- Redirect your attention by doing something: that could be going for a walk, cleaning your home, being creative, getting out and about. This will help get you out of your mind and yes, into doing. Initially, being can be too much as there is no distraction.
- Put some techniques into place as soon as you become aware of over dwelling. Click your fingers, say stop, or deliberately take a big breath in and sigh. Anything that creates a circuit breaker.
- Practice meditation. Once you feel you can sit still and ‘take ten’, you will be able to see what your thinking is all about it. You get a feel for when you start to dwell on stuff and why. That is what is important: the why. Sitting in stillness is very calming and soothing, even if your mind is still busy over dwelling and over processing. Here is a lovely short guided meditation to support you in connecting to your busy mind.
- Start talking less about it as this is key to creating a more peaceful mind with happy thoughts. When you go pick up the phone to have a chat yet again, stop before you dial and walk away and do something constructive.
Let me know how you go in the comments below. If you wish to discuss this further, contact me for a discovery session to see what we can do together to support you creating a clear and ‘non-dwelling’ mind.
Chantal Vanderhaeghen is an intuitive guide, small business owner, creator of an international skincare brand, passionate philanthropist and meditation, reiki, tapping and mindfulness teacher. She works with women ready to make changes, shatters perceptions of beauty and perfection, and inspires people ready to become mindful entrepreneurs. She lives with her talented man in the Perth Hills and can be found online at www.unfoldyoufreedom.com.au
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