Further to my previous blog on ‘Help, I feel invisible’, I want to talk about how to feel visible, despite going through the ‘big midlife crisis’ of menopause. Life is such a powerful journey. You want to be invisible, then visible, then you find society doesn’t see you anymore. So you become invisible. Help!
This isn’t everyone’s experience. However, I am sure you have all experienced something like this at some point in your life. Menopause has been a very challenging experience for me as I didn’t understand what it could mean ‘being in menopause‘. No one talked about it. Or if they did, it was only on a superficial level. Furthermore, no one really wanted to hear about it. It was too embarrassing and too personal. It was kept quiet – a taboo.
In addition, when you were young, it all felt so far away. An unreality. Uninteresting. That would ‘not happen to me’ kind of attitude. Plus, even if your mother did talk about it, it was an awkward conversation to have and yuck. Block your ears kind of conversation. Too much information kind of conversation. Too visible.
how menopause can affect you
And wham! Life careens out of control. You are no idea what on earth is happening to you. All you know is that you have become this unrecognisable woman, even to yourself. You still don’t talk about it. And who to, because no one else talks about it either. And not all women have all the symptoms. Some can sail through menopause. Others have a few symptoms. So it isn’t easy to find a kindred spirit to have a good old chat about it. To feel real. To feel visible. It is easier to hide, pretend it is not happening and try to be invisible.
Yes, you go to your doctor. Yes, you get the recommended blood tests to get the final word: yes, you are in menopause. Somehow, that is where it stops. There isn’t much discussion or explanation of what that could entail. Or it may be that you don’t hear what is said as it somehow does not apply to you. You are in denial.
wanting to be invisible again
Somewhere along the line, I missed the fact that there are so many possible symptoms of menopause, apart from flashes, irregular periods and some emotional moments. Even my wonderful wholistic GP didn’t make it clear. And I also hid what was going on for me from her, as that would mean I was admitting to myself who I had become. This wild woman with emotions that were well out of control. I am normally an emotional woman. However, this force majeur has nearly taken me to breaking point.
I wanted to be invisible again. What an irony! It is a matter of riding it through. Being loving and kind to yourself. Accepting what is. Accepting where you are at. And going on the roller coaster of a journey. It is important to support yourself and be around those who love and accept you no matter what. This, too, will pass.
Feel free to comment or contact me about your experience to create a loving and open conversation.
Chantal Vanderhaeghen is an intuitive guide, small business owner, creator of an international skincare brand, passionate philanthropist and meditation, reiki, tapping and mindfulness teacher. She works with women ready to make changes, shatters perceptions of beauty and perfection, and inspires people ready to become mindful entrepreneurs. She lives with her talented man in the Perth Hills and can be found online at www.unfoldyoufreedom.com.au
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