Further to my blog on ‘8 Powerful Benefits of Stillness’, I want to explore more with you how finding stillness within to be with yourself is so liberating. In point 8, I mentioned how it gives you a chance to see what you need to let go of to be who you want to be.
finding stillness within to be with yourself
I am in the process of reading another of Brene Brown’s amazing books – Rising Strong. So much resonates with me in so many ways. Some aspects I am aware of already, however, there is also so much more to learn about finding stillness within to be with yourself. That isn’t always easy when you are in crisis or in denial. Most of us shy away from the discomfort of intense feeling and emotion. And I would add admitting we have also played a role in any unpleasantness. Now that takes courage and humbleness. Expressing your vulnerability and staying with it isn’t easy.
However, finding stillness within helps you learn and understand who you are. You are able to be with yourself and take responsibility for your life and how you are in it. It connects you to your stories that you weave and makeup to make sense of what has happened in your life. Because, we don’t learn how to check things out with the other person, we make assumptions. And that is lethal. We fill in the gaps to suit our version of events and use our history to make it viable. Something, I learnt when I was training as a Gestalt Therapist, was to always check out the other person’s perspective first before making judgement and conclusions. More often than not, their response says more about them than you as they are also coming from a place of hurt and pain. Just like you are.
Of course, with meditation. This is such a powerful way to intentionally finding stillness within to be with yourself. Overthinking, overanalysing and replaying story after story is exhausting and soul destroying. When you take the time to sit quietly with yourself you get to know yourself. However, to do this, you need to be willing to lean into your pain and discomfort. And to take the time to experience it fully to be able to release and eventually enjoy being with yourself. Remember you are the sum of all parts, not just the parts you want to show the world to be accepted, liked, and to belong. And that is the tough part: totally being and accepting all of you.
As you get to know yourself you can reach out and ask for help. You can feel and express your vulnerability with confidence. That doesn’t mean you won’t still get hurt or be mindful who you share yourself with. By sharing of yourself gives others the courage to do the same. This was way we can support and love each with all our foibles. It is in the stillness you hear your heart’s whisper. You hear your body and feel all its sensations. You finally begin to listen to yourself and enjoy being with yourself.
I combine this with journaling as I find it helps me make sense of what is going on. As James Pennebaker states: ‘Writing helps us focus and organise the experience.’ There is such power in handwriting. It still amazes me what can come up, even after all these years. Initially, it took time to be able to truly write down how I felt as I not only felt disloyal, but I also felt uncomfortable expressing and acknowledging such powerful emotions, such as anger, hate, jealousy, or resentment. That wasn’t lady-like and acceptable. It all had to be sugar ‘n spice and all things nice. Very soul destroying making it difficult to feel and express any negative emotion. So of course, when you do, you can explode and in the most inappropriate ways.
Get comfortable now. Find a journal you love and use colourful pens. During my first years of writing I only used black pens. Then I changed to colour and it also happened to reflect my change of mood and sense of self.
Both these methods help you unfold your daily thoughts, make sense of them and integrate them back into your life in such a way that is kind, loving and compassionate. You gain awareness, focus and purpose in your life. Your thoughts no longer kidnap you taking you away from reality and what is present in that moment. You begin to connect to your true loving Self and not want to run away and hide. You become someone you love to be with and want to show and share with the world. People are drawn to you, find you attractive and delightful to be with as you ooze confidence and joy. As they say in French: ‘Libération’.
Love you to share this article with anyone you feel might gain from reading this. If you want some support and be part of a group of like-minded women, join my Mindful Woman’s closed Facebook group.
This is for you if you are wanting to:
- feel free to be you
- feel love, joy, and serenity
- change your perception of yourself and be the best version of yourself
- live your life purposefully without constantly feeling ill at ease
- and are yearning for peace and calm in your life
Namaste from my still Soul to your still Soul
Love this post? Or know someone who needs to read this? Please share away! I would also love to hear what you think about my post, leave me a comment below ♥
Chantal Vanderhaeghen is an intuitive guide, small business owner, creator of an international skincare brand, passionate philanthropist and meditation, reiki, tapping and mindfulness teacher. She works with women ready to make changes, shatters perceptions of beauty and perfection, and inspires people ready to become mindful entrepreneurs. She lives with her talented man in the Perth Hills and can be found online at www.unfoldyoufreedom.com.au
how you can work with me