It is so easy in this world to feel invisible, no matter who and what age you are. There is so much noise, busyness and doing going on that we can feel overlooked or invisible. There is a sense of isolation happening because we no longer connect in the way we used to. We are too busy to even make phones calls just to have a chat and talk about how we are feeling, particularly if you are feeling like a mad (menopausal) woman. Texting, emailing and using social media is just not the same for a great chin wag.

Feeling Invisible

And feeling invisible can also be part of life transitioning, a nicer way of saying ageing. It was tough transitioning from a child to a teenager with all those raging hormones running amuck. Who am I? What is happening here? Your body is changing as are your looks. You are filling out and blossoming into a beautiful young woman. At the same time, your skin can become blotchy, blemished and oily. Nothing is as it used to be. Then all you want to feel is invisible as you feel the world is looking at you, at your every move. You feel so self-conscious and in the limelight feeling like the spotlight is shining on you. And only you! Oh, those were the days of being young.

Feeling visible

Finally, you get a reprieve for a few years. You feel alive, in the world, and visible. You are out there; young, gorgeous and vibrant. And all of a sudden (so it feels), you feel invisible. This time you are not wanting to because of the growing pains from when you were growing up. But it is now due to your age. You have reached that ‘certain age’ where it is being imposed upon you. You are being looked over. And you are wondering how did this happen. Because in many ways you feel better than ever.

Being Menopausal

Yet, at the same time, your hormones can be raging again. It is like you are out of control again. A train wreck waiting to happen. It seems to have sneaked up on you. You don’t talk about it, because it feels shameful and embarrassing. The same questions arise: who am I? What is happening to my body? Your emotions are all out of the place. It feels like you are someone else. And those around you look at you askew.

It is time to speak up.

To share; to talk. To cry; to laugh. And to relief that you are not the only one. Of course, you know you are not. However, because it is still a taboo subject in many ways, it is too scary to make yourself even more vulnerable by speaking out loud. Our mothers did not talk about it. And even if they did, it felt remote and foreign. Did we listen to our Mums and their wisdom at the time? It felt so irrelevant at the time.

Oops. And here you are now. You have reached that age yourself. And your children are looking at you in the same way. Invisibly. Irreverently. Because they don’t relate to what is happening in your life. And they are too caught up in their own. And they don’t recognise you. Who have you become? 

In part 2 of this rant, I want to feel visible, I will talk more about what it is like to be in menopause. It will be my experience. Some of it you will relate to and others you won’t. I am wanting to create a conversation about this to demystify it all.

Until then. Namaste



meet chantal

Chantal Vanderhaeghen is an intuitive guide, small business owner, creator of an international skincare brand, passionate philanthropist and meditation, reiki, tapping and mindfulness teacher. She works with women ready to make changes, shatters perceptions of beauty and perfection, and inspires people ready to become mindful entrepreneurs. She lives with her talented man in the Perth Hills and can be found online at



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