This is a big one for so many of us -if you want people to listen to you, you have to listen to them first. Even though I love what Dr Seuss has written, I do believe that you need to listen to yourself first.  Why is that?

listen to yourself first

Because that is caring for yourself. We are such givers to others in our lives, that we don’t care for ourselves. It doesn’t even cross our minds. That is considered being selfish. Furthermore, we don’t make the time to listen to ourselves and what we want. That is a foreign concept.

When it was put to me many years ago, what it is I would like, I actually couldn’t respond. I didn’t know. It hadn’t been part of my upbringing to connect to my needs and wants. It was all about giving to others. That gave me a sense of self and purpose in life.

Not only that, I was too busy to listen to myself. My body was telling me to stop and care for myself. I ignored all the little signs, which become not so little, until one day I crashed completely. I ended up in a hospital bed unable to say my name, comprehend the form I had to fill out or remember who the staff were on the day of entry.

denial is a killer

Even then, I was still in denial as I was the sole breadwinner running my own business. So if I didn’t work who would and how would the bills be paid. That was frightening. It was easier to keep on pushing, not tell anyone and definitely not ask for help. That would be giving in and ruining my facade of being so strong and independent.

I am wiser now. There is lots of listening happening. Not only that, there is acting on what shows up. The signs are no longer ignored nor denied, because when they are on occasion, there are repercussions.

It takes time, courage and strength to slow down and find out what it is you want in life. It takes time to be able to say no to others and care for yourself. Once that begins to happen, not only do you feel so much better with lots more energy, you can also be there for others first, as Dr Zeuss says.

magic happens

This creates communication and connection which is wonderful for all areas of your life. Let’s face we all love to be heard and acknowledged, no matter who we are and how old. This is where the magic happens. When we are so caught up in ourselves and being there for others, we are actually not hearing nor listening. There is no time.

And we are also not being heard and listened to. Make a decision to take the time to be present with not only yourself and also others. Enjoy listening and being listened to and watch yourself and others bloom.

To get you started, here is the link to a guided meditation I recently did.



meet chantal

Chantal Vanderhaeghen is an intuitive guide, small business owner, creator of an international skincare brand, passionate philanthropist and meditation, reiki, tapping and mindfulness teacher. She works with women ready to make changes, shatters perceptions of beauty and perfection, and inspires people ready to become mindful entrepreneurs. She lives with her talented man in the Perth Hills and can be found online at



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