As I have been reflecting over the past few years on how meditation has affected my life, all I can say it has changed my life. It has been subliminal and subtle. It is only now that I can take the time to observe myself can I see the enormous changes. As you take the time, you also remember comments people have made about you – lovely positive ones at that, that I was initially great at deflecting as I did not see myself in that way – and realise there is truth in what they say and I can now accept and own them.
So how was I before I started on this journey of learning about meditation (I have to say this was one of the few modalities that changed my life, however, this one will last me forever as I can use it anywhere, any time for the rest of my life)?
Words that come to mind: on edge, spikey, stressed, like a cat ready to pounce at all times, ready to lash out, angry, aggressive, rushed, frenetic, stiff, defensive, reactive, heightened emotion, exhausted, niggly aches and pains, headaches, cold sores, fitful sleep. I was not these all the time, of course, however, they are readily available when ‘needed’.
I can remember someone very important in my life saying to me a while ago, I was unpredictable in how I would be which would put her on edge and then we would both become explosive. Not what I wanted to hear and it was a reality. That is how I could be – reactive.
changes in me
The changes: soft, grounded, calm, at ease with myself, responsive, able to step back and take a breath before I ‘react’, joyful, relaxed, body is more supple, gentle, the ability to listen and hear, the ability to be present with myself and other, the ability to reason logically and not just from pure emotion, serene.
My life has become manageable and enjoyable.
There is clarity in my life, in my mind, and in my decision making. I make a lot less errors in that I am no longer impulsive. I am clearer with what I want in my life, who I want around me, and what I will accept and not accept. I have become more discerning in my life. My mind is clear and not fuzzy and clouded. Like a photograph: sharp edges, clear, in focus.