As I was doing my morning ritual of writing, meditating, reading and drinking my hot lemon water to get the digestive juices flowing, I came across the following which made me sit up and think and go ‘ouch’ as hit a raw spot: ‘Holding on to a position of being right, without allowing other people’s opinions to be equally valued, limits the opportunity to learn’. (Naomi Simson, founder of RedBallon).
listening to yourself
That hit me between the eyes, as there is so much meaning to those words that you may not even be aware of. And you may not even be aware of the fact that you are not hearing and listening to the other. Therefore you are losing out on so much. I have had to work on this a lot over the years about not listening. I was too busy wanting to be heard as that had been my childhood experience, not being heard. So I had to be at any cost. Then when I started learning about chakras, inparticular the fifth one, Throat, it all began to make sense and healing could start.
Being brought up in an environment made it difficult to listen. You weren’t allowed to speak up, let alone speak your truth. It was difficult be able to hold a different opinion. You learnt to tell lies to distort the truth of what was actually happening in the family home. As a consequence, I did not know how to effectively communicate to others as I could not do that with myself. I used incessant talking to distract myself from my own truth of how I was feeling: insecure, vulnerable, afraid, scared, not heard and not valued. Yet outwardly, I appeared to be strong and in control of my life.
it is painful not to listen to yourself
It was hard to listen deeply to myself as I did not like what I saw. Further more, I didn’t know how to hear myself and what I wanted to say and do. Therefore, I did not have this skill coming into adulthood. Confidence about myself and what I thought was not instilled in me. I did not know how to use my voice effectively and creatively to express my true self. And who was that any way: no one of value or worth listening to. To this day, I can still feel that at times, particularly when I am tired and out of sync with myself.
It pains me to even say this; however, it is part of this journey I am on and wanting to share with you to give you confidence to be able to speak up. I used to use such an aggressive tone of voice to get my point of view across, I did not mince with words, and I was blunt. All to hide up what was really going on within I felt so ashamed of.
how meditation helps you listen to yourself
Now that I have learnt so much about what was behind all of this, I have changed dramatically. I am able to listen and hear deeply. I am open to and able to express how I feel assertively and to ask for what I want, even if it goes against the grain. As I work deeper and deeper on myself, I understand how this all came about. And meditation has truly helped. It gave me the space to quieten my mind down to start looking at and eliminating the distractions I had developed over the years. This gave me the opportunity to create great awareness and understanding of the ‘why’. I was able to start to shine and be all that I want to be as we all deserve to.
Take a few moments of quiet time to see what you are hiding from yourself and the world. I realise now that we are all missing out on each other’s magnificence and our true selves. What a shame for us all.
Chantal Vanderhaeghen is an intuitive guide, small business owner, creator of an international skincare brand, passionate philanthropist and meditation, reiki, tapping and mindfulness teacher. She works with women ready to make changes, shatters perceptions of beauty and perfection, and inspires people ready to become mindful entrepreneurs. She lives with her talented man in the Perth Hills and can be found online at www.unfoldyoufreedom.com.au
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