Pain. What does it mean? And when you are in it, do you see that it is temporary? Furthermore that it can be temporary?
power of trauma
For some pain is forever, for others it is not. And I am one that it is not forever, only every now and again and then it hits me like a sledgehammer. Only in hindsight can I see that I was not a quitter when all I wanted to do was quit. Here is my story on pain which will hopefully support you through yours or give you an understanding of what it means and has meant for you.
“Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others.”
I can no longer pretend that I was OK and that at times I am still not OK. As was the case a couple of days ago. There are still times when the whiplash injury comes to bite me and soundly indeed. And it sets me off on a course of great distress and pain.
facades we use to cover our pain
I had always come across as strong, vibrant, and independent and thought I was too. Yet inside was a child screaming for help after a traumatic childhood. Furthermore, I thought I had dealt with the issues over many years on many levels. However, the car accident brought this all out again and on a totally new level. And I felt so exposed, inside and out and who on earth was I and what had happened to me?
The whole experience turned me upside down and inside out. I felt like I was being dumped by this massive wave not knowing where I was, who I was and which way was up. Initially, I was in such shock from the adrenaline pump. As a consequence, I did not fully comprehend what had actually happened as I did not have any obvious injuries. It was all internal – severe whiplash of the upper cervical discs.
a journey of self-discovery
A journey of true self-discovery had just begun and nothing like I had experienced before as there was physical pain involved. There was no option to go on it, as I did not want to stay like this nor feel like this. I had been for-warned that the injuries would take about 2 years to manifest and it did. And to boot, there is no blueprint, no manifest to turn to for help. It is your journey and yours alone.
It was all over the place. I lurched from one day to the next, one experience to the next lost, confused, frightened and in pain. This was such a new experience for me with no blueprint. It was emotional and physical with no way out, nowhere to turn to. I was in acute PTSD initially and then went into chronic.
it is about hanging in there
Yet, somehow, you claw your way out, step by tiny step, a few forward and then backwards and then forward again. You find the help of amazing health professionals along the way to help you make sense of it all and give you the courage to keep going saying they are there for you and believe in you. So I hung in there with the help of an exceptional partner who stood by me every step of the way with such love, encouragement and total lack of judgement. A gem!
Slowly, very slowly, you begin to see a pinpoint of light at the very end of the tunnel, so far away it feels like an illusion. yet it gives you that small glimmer of hope that it is possible that you will pull through. It is worth not giving up. You keep that in your mind’s eye day in day out as your guiding light going towards, hoping and trusting it is truly there and getting bigger and bigger or is it just another illusion.
No, finally it dawns on you that it is a reality. It is getting bigger and this flame of light is starting to shine brighter and brighter. Then you know that you well on your road to recovery when your partner says to you: Lovely to see the sparkle in your eyes again. Tears streamed down my face with joy, love and relief.
“As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”
– Marianne Williamson
Namaste to you all with love and joy to be here and alive and seeing the world for all its glory and beauty again. Part 2 will follow.
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Chantal Vanderhaeghen is an intuitive guide, small business owner, creator of an international skincare brand, passionate philanthropist and meditation, reiki, tapping and mindfulness teacher. She works with women ready to make changes, shatters perceptions of beauty and perfection, and inspires people ready to become mindful entrepreneurs. She lives with her talented man in the Perth Hills and can be found online at www.unfoldyoufreedom.com.au
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