Love is about being together
in silence without words – simply being.
Sometimes it takes a life-changing experience for you to understand what does it really mean for you. There are so many different ways to love. And the word is used in so many ways: I love your shoes, I love your hair, I love your home, etc. It is a much-maligned word and used indiscriminately without much thought. Yet, we all crave love. But what does love actually mean?
Have you sat down and given it any thought what it means for you? I was recently reminded of what it meant to me as I watched my partner go through a really tough time with his health. It took my sense of the feeling to a whole new level and what it meant for me and for us. The biggest learning was simply being with each other. It was about being able to be with each other without judgment. It went so much deeper than just saying ‘I love you’. Yes, that is important, because we all want to hear that we are loved. But do you really say it from your heart?
I know I have done this in the past as I hang up from the phone: ‘I love you’. And the response is ‘I love you, too’. At times it can feel glib and off the cuff. Those beautiful words do roll off the tongue leaving you feeling fabulous. But for how long?
what can love mean
This quote says it all: “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage” (Lao Tzu). When I first read this many years ago, I was so taken by it. I had never experienced love in this way before. And not to the level I am now.
It is about total acceptance of each other, even though you will have your differences and drive each other nuts at times. You may not always understand where the other is coming from. However, there is a trust there that your back is covered no matter what. You are loved. Only this way can you go out into the world and confidently be who you want and need to be.
You come home to a place full of warmth, respect, honour, and kindness where you feel held in the space. No matter what kind of day you have had, you come home to someone who opens the door and tells you that they love you. They make you a cup of tea or pour you a glass of wine, sit down and listen to you. You feel safe to pour your heart out, feel vulnerable and raw knowing you are not being judged.
love just is
Love is being with what is. It is that simple yet that hard. Furthermore, it takes time to build trust in not only yourself but in the other person, particularly if you have been hurt. It is so easy to shut off from loving and being loved again because you don’t to go through it all again. You close yourself off from everything and everyone because that feels safe and manageable.
What you forget is that the world has lost out on an amazing person, you, with so much to give. To find out how to open your heart again to love, you may like to read this blog, I wrote a while ago on love and compassion based on the heart chakra.
Love is not intellectual. It is felt from deep down within us. Love connects us to each other in so many different ways. If someone is hurting you hurt. If someone is excited, so are you. You cry when your loved one is crying. And loved one can mean anyone you love: your husband, wife, partner, friend, child, niece, nephew, client, aunt, uncle, and your bestie. It is being able to laugh, cry, and hug each other holding the space without words. Your presence says it all. They can see the feeling in your eyes and in your hands when you hold theirs.
it is also the little things
Doing little things for each other is love. It might mean sending a handwritten card telling someone how much you appreciate them. When they are in distress keeping in touch via text message or email knowing that talking on the phone can be too much. This way they know you are thinking about them and they can get back to when they feel ready. It is also about giving them space to not be in touch. It is not about you, but about them. A smile goes a long way.
Here is a gift for you: a lovely guided smiling meditation to bring you joy in your body mind and soul. This is just a start, some ideas. There are, of course, so many ways you can show your love for someone. They can be simple, complicated, creative, humorous as long as they come from your heart.
“Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.”
There is nothing more important than feeling loved and loving someone. And that includes you. Start taking small steps today towards a life full of love and joy. Get that beautiful tree of yours full of blossoms or fruit. It will make life even more worthwhile than it already is.
From my loving soul to your loving soul.
If you would like guidance and loving support to help you rewrite your story, work with me. Here is the link to my Unfold with me page to see what programme would suit you best. Or book a clarity call first to see if we are a great match.
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Chantal Vanderhaeghen is an intuitive guide, small business owner, creator of an international skincare brand, passionate philanthropist and meditation, reiki, tapping and mindfulness teacher. She works with women ready to make changes, shatters perceptions of beauty and perfection, and inspires people ready to become mindful entrepreneurs. She lives with her talented man in the Perth Hills and can be found online at www.unfoldyoufreedom.com.au
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